So lately I have been thinking a lot about what 2014 will hold for me, where will I go, what will I do, who will I meet, will I still have my same job, what will my photography be like this year? and so on and so forth. But with looking forward I have also been thinking back on 2013. I cannot lie, 2013 was a rough year, there was a large amount of stress. There were some melt downs, a hand full of complete insane freaking out moments, and some very sleepless nights. But I also know you must go through hard times to get to the good, and that you can also learn a lot about yourself when times are tough. For the people that don't know what my full time job is its working with my family, I have been doing this since December 2012. Both my grandmas live with my parents, they are bed ridden and one cannot feed herself. My job is many things, I help feed, cook, clean, grocery shop, move them around, doctor visits, bathroom visits, take meds, pay bills, etc. Then this past October my great aunt Lucille moved in as well. All of this adds up to some crazy days. On top of all this my mother has been sick, its a long story but prayers for her to get better are greatly appreciate. The amount of stress has been overwhelming at times, but like I said I believe you must push through and learn what you can. I have learned a lot about myself in this past year;
1. I cry A LOT, I will cry over the smallest things. Its like I have no control over my tear ducts. But I have excepted it happens and deal with it.
2. That I have to watch my words, I can be very harsh but also I will say things with out thinking, resulting in me sticking my foot in my mouth a few times this year. I've realized the full amount our words can mean and that they can ruining friendships in a matter of minutes.
3. I have learned that a lot of what I have thought about my future might not be the best anymore, that maybe I have to look at life in another light. This one is kind of hard to explain, but the way I have been viewing many things has changed .
4. I learned to "get over it and get the job done". I can be a pretty finicky person, I don't like feet, I don't like finger nails or toe nails, mostly anything to do with other peoples bodies. But with daily life as it is now I will look back at what I would freak out over a year ago and now do it without thinking twice. Its a good thing really, and I am kind of proud at what I can over to get the job done.
These are just some things that have been going on. But 2013 has not been all bad by any means. I have had some really great moments.
I went to Guatemala for a month.
I turned 26 :)
I made some new friends.
I photographed my childhood friends wedding!
Went to some great brewery's.
Ate some great food.
Took one of my favorite photos yet.
Survived 4 days snowed in (I actually had lots of fun).
So, what dose all this mean for 2014? What have I learned from 2013 that I can carry on into the new year? Well, I have learned that life happens, sometimes not at all the way you thought it would work out. But you have to find the joy in the here and now. We only have this one life and I want to make the best of it and all its situations. I will most likely be doing this job for the next year or more, after that I am not sure what I will do next. Hopefully my photography work will be fully sustainable by then. But sometimes not knowing makes life more interesting, and instead of stressing out about it, having continues melt downs, and a some dramatic spells, find the joy. And make sure you are happy with yourself and the person that your are, that will get you through a lot.
“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”
―
Allen Saunders
